So about two weeks ago, when I was racing to the hospital cause I thought my appendix was going to explode, I got a speeding ticket. It pissed me off pretty bad to say the least, especially since I was only going 10 MPH over the limit on the highway and it happened to be in the city (where cops almost never write minor traffic violation tickets). But I was the end of the month so I guess the bee-otch had to meet her quota for the month. Skank. Anyway, she writes me this ticket in spite of the fact that I am pretty much about to vomit all over her. Then she asks why I was speeding and if something was wrong. I said, "Well yes, in fact, one of my organs may explode inside my gut at any moment now and I was trying to get to the hospital before said organ exploded." She asked if she should call an ambulance for me and I said no since I didn't want to have to pay mucho dinero to take a 10 min ride to a place I could have already been at had I not been stopped in the first place. After all that she handed me the ticket anyway. I guess she thought my story was bullshit even though I had a bottle of Pepto and my insurance provider directory on the front seat. To make matters worse, in the city they keep your drivers license when they write you a ticket.

So now I'm getting to the point. I recommend that everyone out there go get yourself a state issued photo ID. Basically a "Non-Drivers" license. Since gas stations, grocery stores, and bars only accept photo ID's for purchasing cigs and alcohol. So not only does this chick write me a wuss ticket, but takes away my privilege to drink and smoke at the same time. I remember on Nate-Dogg Miller's 21st birthday I had my license taken for a speeding ticket a few days before, and I had to plead with the doorman at every bar we went to so I could even get in. Even though I had both the speeding ticket and my old expired drivers license on hand. So go pick one up for yourself just in case. It was only 11 bucks here in Missouri and it only took about 10 minutes to have done (which may be a world record for the DMV).

As a side note to all this, it takes 10 days for the ticket to appear on the computer system in St. Louis City. Today is the 13th and I got the ticket on the 30th of last month. Add 3 - 4 days for first class mail to the original ten and that would explain why I got NINE pieces of mail today, all from traffic law firms. I think that's the most mail I've ever received in one day. Whoo-hoo!!

- these thoughts flowed through Jeff's fingers @ 6:26 PM