Game... "Guess who?"

Facts... Current MLB player. Plays first base. Third grade photo below.

Hint: I live in St. Louis and my girlfriend went to elementary school with him (I made this way too easy)

Labels: baseball, celebrity, St. Louis

- these thoughts flowed through Jeff's fingers @ 12:49 AM

For those of you who may be interested (and even those of you who aren't), go check out the new Formula Kid album. Even though the band broke up several months ago, Drew still sat down and finished the record. At least most of it. I think they still had about three songs left to record, one of which, "Twenty Miles to Waterloo" is halfway finished and posted here.

It's definitely worth a listen. I happen to like it a lot and was saddened to hear that the Formula Kid was to be no more. I'm looking forward to what Drew can do as a solo artist though. He's a damn good songwriter and a helluva vocalist.

Labels: local music, music, new album

- these thoughts flowed through Jeff's fingers @ 4:08 PM

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.

But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity


Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."


"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up


Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story: BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there


Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.


As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Moral of the story:


(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy


(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend


(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


This ends the 3-minute management course.

Labels: jokes

- these thoughts flowed through Jeff's fingers @ 2:36 PM

Ever since I really got into music back when I was a junior in high school, I've not-so-secretly wanted to be a rock star. I know now that the odds of that happening are slim to none, and that's OK. But eight or nine years ago when I was a starry eyed Audio Production major playing in a good band, that dream didn't seem so impossible. Years later after drummers that moved to LA, a failed debut recording project that never even made it to overdubs, missing band practices, and just being plain lazy I was burnt out and essentially gave up on music. Other things just became more important; finishing school, finding a job, pulling myself out of a two year long depression, getting out of debt.

Mind you this was also in the midst of a slew of horrible music that was being released to the general public and even finding a good new record to pickup was a chore. I wasn't confident in my playing ability or my songwriting ability and even my voice (which I was always knew was good) was battling adult onset asthma and chronic bronchitis. I set down my guitar around 5 years ago now and other the occasional strum or two for nostalgia's sake I haven't picked it up since (other than for a brief stint in Nick's basement).

Lately I've been hearing a lot of decent new music both on the radio and some that is less than mainstream. Let's say I've been inspired. Things have settled down a bit in my life and I've been getting the itch to do something besides sit in a bar and waste my time away. So the time has come again for me to start doing what I always wanted to do. I'm dusting off the guitars and taking them in for some work and after that it's back to practicing at least 8 hours a week.

Like I said I haven't played in forever so this will take some work, but I'm saddened already that I've missed out on several of the best years of my life that could have been better spent playing music. I want to play music with other people again; smoke a joint and just jam for 4 hours. I want to play music for other people again, even if it's just 5 people staying late down at the Majestic or 30 people at a coffee house.

One of the absolute best moments of my entire life was about a decade ago in Pete's basement. A huge party with about 200 people in attendance. Our band (the Awegazes) were playing that night. The cops had already been called and we knew it was time to cut the set short so we decided to go straight to our closer, Pink Floyd's "Time". Jess, the brains behind our band and the front man said his voice was going sore and asked if I wanted to sing it. Of course I said yes and stepped up to the mic. We nailed the song and for one brief moment in my life I felt like a rock star. During the song, I looked out at a crowd of people who had been mostly uninterested with our performance of original material to find that people were at the front of the stage singing along with fists in the air and smiles on their faces. There's an image stuck in my head of my brother, my girlfriend, and all my best friends smiling and singing back at me. In my head it constantly plays in slow motion like the final scene of a movie.

I don't want the movie to be over yet...

Labels: music

- these thoughts flowed through Jeff's fingers @ 3:21 PM