As some of you may know, I'm a pretty laid back dude. Except when I'm driving.....and there are idiots around. Today on my way to work, I'm zooming downtown on highway 44 in the left lane doing a comfortable 73 MPH. This chick in the lane next to me who is going considerably slower than I am just decides to float over into the left lane with no turn signal about one second before I was going to pass her. So needless to say I have to pretty much slam on my brakes and avoid putting a huge Honda "H" on her rear fender. I'm used to this though. Does it piss me off, yes, but people changing lanes without a turn signal is not a rare occurrence. I personally think it's really lame that people can't do something as simple as flick their wrist and hit their turn signal which could in some cases save a life even if they are too "cool" to do it as a common courtesy.

Now of course this chick is in front of me and controlling my top speed which has now dipped to a meager 61 MPH. This again is not uncommon, cars doing the same speed as everyone else on the road jumping into the left lane and bogging down traffic that wants to go a little bit faster. Causing people not only to get pissed off but to pull stupid stunts to try to get out from behind the slow car and back into a faster lane of traffic. Seriously, it's illegal to drive in the left lane if you're not passing someone and dangerous when you interrupt the flow of traffic. Check your mirror and get the fuck out of the lane if someone is behind you. (At least someone is doing something about this annoyance. Thanks Illinois!)

After driving behind her now for a mile or so I begin to realize why she didn't use her turn signals and why she couldn't tell that there was a line of cars behind her all waiting to pass. I noticed that she was swerving back and forth in the lanes and couldn't maintain a constant speed to save her life. When I looked a bit closer I saw that this bee-otch was putting on makeup!! On the fucking highway!! During rush hour!! Oh and she wasn't putting on lipstick or something like that. She was doing her eyeliner (or mascara) while looking in her rearview mirror. Un-fucking-believable!! That's almost as bad as the guy I saw reading a completely unfolded and wide open newspaper on the highway a few years ago. Now its one thing to slap some lipstick on at a stoplight or to put on some blush while your in a traffic jam and no one is moving anyway, but this was absolutely ridiculous. People that pull that kind of shit on the road are just as dangerous as drunk drivers and should be punished in a similar fashion. Had I not been a safe driver that prefers not to talk on my cell phone while driving, I probably would have called the cops on this ho-bag.

Ok, done bitching now.

- these thoughts flowed through Jeff's fingers @ 11:39 AM