- Fuji apples are the best damn apple ever cultivated

- Properly peeling a hard-boiled egg can sometimes be just as challenging as solving a Rubik's Cube

- Light Miracle whip is about 10 times better for you than real mayo and tastes just as good in tuna salad

- Some wizard using black magic developed a curse to make apples taste like grapes (Mmmm...Black magic apple)

- Broiling fish brushed with olive oil in the oven creates smoke... lots and lots of smoke

- I have a new-found love for milk chocolate Ensure (it has become the highlight of my day)

- Rice cakes only taste like cardboard when compared to a hamburger. When you're hungry enough to eat your shoe, they taste quite delicious.

- I really miss eating those tiny 60 cent snack bags of Cheetos each afternoon

- Guinness only has 125 calories (per 12 oz. serving)

- Lot's of protein in your diet causes some seriously solid poos

- Drinking 8 or more glasses of water a day is really good for you. (Of course, I actually always knew this, I just never realized how good it actually is)

- I like slightly green bananas better than slightly brown ones

- Taco Bell and Steak n' Shake taste like little slices of heaven when you have been eating nothing but yogurt, fruit, wild rice and fish all week

- Eating greasy shitty food really fucks up your stomach. I haven't had a stomach cramp or even so much as a really nasty fart for a month

- Not eating after 10:00 PM makes me sleep like a baby

- Only eating 300 - 400 calories at each meal makes your stomach shrink drastically

- Grocery shopping by yourself when you are on a diet and not going completely insane with the desire to purchase everything in the freshly prepared entrees section near the deli at Dierbergs and take it around back of the store to scarf it down like a fiendish little troll takes a willpower that is beyond the measure of mortal men

- Finding something that is both healthy and tasty at a fast food restaurant is a task better left up to Jim Phelps or Ethan Hunt

Labels: diet, health

- these thoughts flowed through Jeff's fingers @ 2:02 PM